An odd app
by Rozin S. Blane
Summary: Glinda will return home soon and her parents expect her to have a man on her arm; a suggestion from Pfannee might solve the problem. But then again, it might create more. What she expects will not be what she gets but, as in life, she'll find a way to ake the most of it.
1. Chapter 1

Glinda wasn't sure what to do, in three days time she was to get in a carriage and leave her job remodeling the main lecture hall at Shiz University to spend a month and a half with her family for the entire holiday season. Sure the designs were done, the scaffolding in place, and the foundation laid out but that was just a scratch in the surface. "No! It was not a scratch in the surface any kind of imperfection to what we have so far will be disastrous!" she muttered to herself. She had only graduated a year and a half ago; she was expected to be married by now not running her own business. Mila and Shenshen were married already and were living up in Gillikin for the remainder of the year. "Not only will my family expect me to have someone on my arm but they will too!" She exclaimed as quietly as she could.

She was currently pacing back and forth around the office given to her by the new Dean of students, an Ox by the name of Gerard, and worrying about all that was to be done without her supervision. When she returned the exterior walls should be in place with interior scaffolding. That wasn't hard right? There was nothing she should worry about, right? But what if the windows were installed upside down or backwards? The students could enter from the outside! Or worse be trapped inside! What if they put the soundproof drywall on the outside? Would that make a difference? "Oz be damned Glinda!" she said to herself. "You hired these people because they're competent workers not squalling children! They aren't going to turn into toddlers because you leave them alone for a little while! Right? Of course right!" This last bit she said a little louder than anticipated and to her right hand (Pfannee) standing outside the door it sounded like a squeak of distress and she quickly rapped her knuckles on the door in concern.

"Glinda?" she called. "Are you alright in there? Are you still worried about us? You know I can handle this right? It's just a small bit more than a month!" Glinda did not respond at first. She hadn't thought about Pfannee; she would be in charge while Glinda was gone. She trusted her enough to start a construction company with her; why should she worry about a small absence with Pfannee in charge? "Galinda?" Pfannee called again. As she reached for the door handle Glinda barged out and wrapped her arms around Pfannee's shoulders. "Thank you!" she cried. "The company will be in good hands with you here! Now-" she exclaimed holding a shocked Pfannee at arms' length. "I only have one thing to worry about when I'm gone!" Pfannee nodded understandingly, then shook her head enthusiastically, "What else have you got to worry about? Mila and Shenshen don't care what it is you're doing with you're life they're too busy gossiping with each other; unless you talk to them more than I do?"

"I don't but you know my family; they think I've got a boyfriend! What am I supposed to do about that?" she exclaimed gently shaking her. "Tell the truth; you're single and devoted to your work." Pfannee said plainly. "No!" Glinda exclaimed, dramatically turning away from Pfannee with one hand remaining on her shoulder. "I need a boyfriend- not necessarily a real one- but I need him before I leave!" Pfannee sighed at Glinda's short sighted solution but resolved to help her anyway. She took out her phone and handed it to Glinda. "Here," she said. "See this app?" she pointed to one that at first glance was the Ozian banner, a gold O with a z inside on a green backing. Upon closer inspection Glinda saw that the O was actually a heart. She took her phone out of her pocket and opened the app store. "What is it and where do I get it?" she asked frantically scrolling through the pages. Pfannee sighed again. "Stop that it's not in the store! We have to connect our phones together so it will copy itself onto your phone. You have to make a three brief statement on what it is you are looking for and it will give you options to chose from. You can get everything from a walk in a park to a one night stand. I'm sure your situation will have a million people ready for a month and a half of free meals. Now lets go in your office and get you set up okay?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Ch 2**

Not long later Glinda had a profile set up, had application sent in and she had a headache from her unrealistic expectations of numerous immediate replies. Pfannee didn't bother trying to console her; she doubted it would take long for some someone to reply- after all it was a lot of free food and travel across most of Oz. Shiz was just **barely** underneath the Emerald city after all. Glinda refused to move an inch until she had at least one response. She sat behind her desk staring intently at her phone, waiting for a notification.

Pfannee had left half an hour ago saying she'd bring back Glinda some dinner. She had returned just in time for Glinda to scream indignantly at the sound of a notification. It had startled Pfannee to the point of nearly dropping their food trays. "Lucky me!" she said triumphantly juggling the trays. "Screw your incompetence!" Glinda yelled throwing her phone in a drawer and slamming it shut. "What happened?" Pfannee asked placing the trays on the desk. "It was just telling me that the battery was low- for the sixth time!" She huffed crossing her arms and slouching in her high-backed chair. "Okay, just charge your phone and eat something, you're becoming agitated. It can take time; people have to make plans to leave for such a long time you know? You left me in charge and you made very specific plans for what is to be done while you're gone. That's just what's happening now; people are making plans in case you _do_ select them for your trip. Maybe be a little more specific, you love extravagant and dramatic things. Why don't you say that you want to make a scene around your family?" Pfannee suggested. Glinda mumbled a response and reached lifted a piece of broccoli to her mouth. "Hmm?" Pfannee questioned leaning closer. "I'll add some details after dinner." Glinda muttered a little louder. Pfannee nodded and sat on the arm of Glinda's chair to eat.

Glinda had slept in the office that night and Pfannee had hired a campus officer to watch over her. The next morning was the first day Pfannee was in charge and Glinda ran home in the early hours with the officer as a guide to her apartment just off campus in the Quadling country. The hammerhead man out front had nearly flattened her as she ran inside because he had not recognized her so early in the morning. He apologized profusely in his native tongue and Glinda had told him not to worry as she continued to rush inside. Today a she had to pack her things and call the Pines Transport company in Munchkinland to ensure she still had a ride in two days. She also had to call her parents in Gillikin to remind them she was in fact coming this year- she hadn't the year before because she was still doing paperwork with Pfannee for their company.

"It's alright mother, Bubble Guild will be off the ground before you know it and we'll be designing and building for Shiz so you still know where to contact me." She remembered saying the year before. "No father I don't have any connections in Vinkus… Because they're very attached to their 'rustic' constructions father and I am not one to interfere with their customs… Well that's just insulting I doubt I'd build any pink buildings and certainly not in Munchkinland you know how accustomed they are to their shades of blue." She laughed to herself as she ascended the steps to her home on the fifth floor. "No mother, I've never had any quarrels with the Quadlings… Yes they do have their own language, I may not speak it but I understand it well enough… I will build for them if they'd like me too! That goes for anyone I just have to study their traditional architecture and bring it up to date a little bit."

She was almost hunched over giggling by the time she reached her home. Her parents knew nothing of Architecture and they weren't too keen on the rest of Oz culture either, old fashioned as they were. Instead of being frustrated with them she chose to laugh. After all she had specified in her application that she was leaning towards taking a Vinkian companion with her to scare her parents. They thought the people to be brutish and wild but Glinda had several Vinkian friends and knew they were only wild on their holidays, and they had many, but they were a thoughtful and studious people in social situations. They were well educated in other cultures as they were mostly hunters and traders. "To trade with one person for equal gain they must see you as an equal; if you know their culture they are more likely to respect you." One friend had said to her. "And though not all will care to learn your culture the stronger ties we make often make efforts to learn about us to return the kindness we show them; even if it makes them uncomfortable."

Glinda mused over this as she packed; when she had finished it was sundown and all of her plans were ready with one exception. She hadn't checked her phone all day. She had used a landline in the lobby to call her parents and the Pines Transport. Calling from her personal phone would have cost as much as the trip itself. She scoured the apartment, keeping everything neat as she went, scavenging for her phone. Remembering that she had slept in her office she realized she had left it in the desk drawer. She groaned and slumped her shoulders, looking upwards, at the thought of walking back to Shiz. Instead she walked down to the lobby and called the night guards that were set up to watch over the construction sight. She explained the situation to them and not twenty minutes later a thin munchkin man in uniform walked through the doors carrying some blue prints and her phone. "Here you are ma'am, I brought everything from the drawer just like you asked." He said handing the items to her one by one as she pretended to inspect each item. "Thank you," she said sweetly. "I do think I'll hire the Lollipop Guild to watch our next sight, you all do more than what is expected of you." She handed him a small collection of coins and he smiled broadly. "With all do respect ma'am you pay us more than any other company. We munchkin's aren't well respected in the security business." Glinda frowned. "I know, you're all underestimated. Just because the Vinkians are bigger doesn't mean they're better guards, I've seen munchkin men much more willing to fight and more often too." The man smiled up at her, bowed and left. It was true his people were underestimated, Glinda thought as she went back upstairs. They were often thought of as cowardly because they had a well hated witch for a ruler; the truth was the munchkin people were very brave and well armed and able to fight anyone- as long as their opponent didn't have magic. They weren't very good with magic.

Before the Emerald city was built the munchkins had owned the land it was now built on; they had fought off Vinkians and Quadlings to gain it. Meanwhile the Gillikins were celebrating their find of a man named Oz who claimed to be a wizard. It wasn't until he had scared the munchkin people away from their new territory that he became "Oz: the Great and Terrible" and the rest of Oz had never let them live it down. Especially when he scared them- recruited he had called it- to build the emerald city according to his specifications.

She continued to ponder on this as she set up her phone to charge and arranged the blueprints in an orderly manner on her desk near the window facing south. After a time she began running through Vinkian traditions in her head as made dinner, cleaned more of her apartment and even when she went to bed. She drifted off to sleep wondering, If the Vinkian people look so strange to the people of Oz were there people in other countries that looked stranger than they? Yet what of the Hammerheads, why were they not considered so strange as the Vinkians? And if the Hammerheads existed in Oz, what other manner of people had she not seen, being well traveled in only Urban areas of the country? She had been so deep in thought, and later deep in sleep, that she had not heard her phone go off multiple times.


	3. Chapter 3

_**My writing flow was interrupted by jury duty; sorry if this feels a little off towards the end. I think it feels off... It might just be me.**_

 **Ch3**

The next morning the sun shone through her window, blinding her with the emerald glow that spread through all of Oz in the morning and evenings. "You'd think the Emerald Palace was just outside my window!" Glinda griped covering her face with her pillow. Suddenly she sat up, perfectly alert, and ran to her phone next to her desk nearly tripping over her feet in the process. The sleeveless shirt she slept in was twisted around her torso and her pants were scrunched up around her knees causing some discomfort as she unlocked her phone to see the notifications. She looked through them muttering anxiously as most of them were of no importance.

Reminder: Pick up dresses from Red Dust drycleaners. "I know."

Reminder: Yellow brick road under construction through South Main street. "I know."

Reminder: No chips or soda, I don't care if you're craving them! "Thanks for the reminder, me."

Reminder: Foundation repair help (if needed) is in right bottom drawer- tell Pfannee "She put it there!"

Reminder: Pick up dresses from Red Dust drycleaners. "I know!"

Reminder: Shoe repair in Shiz community center pickup today "I know!"

She became increasingly annoyed with all the reminders she had set up as she read down the list. "Why are there so many repeats!" she cried in frustration. As she neared the bottom of the list she became more and more disheartened until finally, the very last few notifications were highlighted gold.

Notice: Response: If you are looking to scare your family look no further…

Notice: Response: I reside in the Vinkus, know traditions well, can dress …

Notice: Response: I have business in the Emerald city, will arrive tomorr…

Glinda opened each of them and read them carefully; the one person who responded seemed absolutely perfect.

 **The first message:**

If you are looking to scare your family look no further; all my life I have been known to frighten those around me. I am E. Thropp-Tigulaar, descendant of a family of Huntsman. If you wish my brother, who is a skilled soldier and far larger than I, can accompany us if you chose to hire me. We do not want money, only food and a place to sleep. I am twenty four with a criminal record and only two years college education which I was forced to take while in prison in South Stairs. Currently I am a bartender in the Vinkian version of the Emerald city's Philosophy club; ours is a bit more violent. I am a skilled Magician and pick-pocket; I will be your date for the holiday season and can do any of the following things you requested:

Openly hit on other female family members while you pretend not to notice

Pick the pockets of guests clumsily enough not to be noticed by the victim but to be noticed by others

Start a fist fight with a family member or guest

Propose to you in front of a crowd only to break up before the end of the trip

Come up with and stick to a horrific back-story

Things I cannot and will not do that you listed:

Seduce a guest/ family member by the end of the trip (It's just not okay)

Become intoxicated to the point of disgrace (I'm enough of a disgrace as is, I promise. I have a high alcohol tolerance. If you want me to be drunk there's no guarantee I won't blow your whole plan.)

Avoid serious injury to the people around you (I have a criminal record, you should probably check it I'm known for getting people hurt when I fight them.)

 **The second message:**

Though you have not responded I thought I would send you some information about me. I live in the Vinkus with my half brother, I've learned their customs and traditions in the years that I've lived here. I own traditional garb and utensils- weaponry included- being skilled in magic I can make slight changes in my appearance to appear more or less menacing. I can appear as either gender with little effort if that matters at all to you.

E.T-T.

 **The third message:**

You still have not responded; I assume this means you either are sleeping or have chosen someone else. Either way I felt the need to inform you that I have business in the Emerald city tomorrow; I will arrive tomorrow evening and will be done in a matter of hours. Please notify me tomorrow if you require my assistance in your travels. I will need time to prepare, two hours notice will do.

E.T-T.

Glinda was prepared to accept the offer immediately but decided to call Pfannee first for a word of advice. Surely she would have a clearer head about the matter. But seeing as the sun had just risen Glinda decided to wait a few hours and began to prepare herself for the day ahead. Not much would happen and she decided that since she was going into town for errands she could just spend the day window shopping. After her brunch she called Pfannee who had hidden away in the office to get away from the construction noise.

"Is something wrong? Are you leaving early? Did you net get a response?" Pfannee answered in a flurry of questions. "I got three responses from the same person!" Glinda declared. "And there perfect here I'll read them!" The next hour was spent discussing the pros and cons of the situation; but the conversation was one sided because Glinda had already made up her mind. Pfannee pretended not to notice, if she agreed with Glinda's plan she wouldn't be considered a voice of reason and as her right hand she needed to maintain the image of a sage advisor. "Glinda, listen to me." She said. "You don't know who this person is." "I don't need to!" she responded angrily. "I just need them for a month and a half. I won't have any problems. In fact, I'm going to reply to them right now!" she hung up as Pfannee began to protest and responded to E. Thropp-Tigulaar.

"I wonder why that name sounds so familiar." She mused as she walked around a large building. "I feel I've seen it before somewhere; I've probably seen it in the news. I'm 'dating' a felon after all." She laughed to herself and set off to run her errands.

She ran past a towering building, a fashion hub from out of the Vinkus, called Witch of the West. It was nicknamed after their main model, a Vinkian woman who was said to dye her skin according to the season. Usually she was seen in the spring and summer with green skin, most thought it a disgraceful act. The rural people of Quadling country thought it a great tribute to the nature around them. The Vinkians were known for being spiritually centered around nature, as the Quadlings were, but the dying of skin was strange all through Oz. It was rumored the reason she dyed her skin was because her skin was an unnatural color, and the changing of it seemed more appropriate than staying the one malignant color. There was a male model for the company who did the same; according to fashion magazines published in the Emerald City he was her twin brother, but no one knew for sure.

In recent years the company hadn't used either of them for their advertising. "I wonder what happened to them?" she thought as she continued past. "Imagine if her brother was my 'date'!" she thought grinning. "Well, that'd mean they have another sibling. I wonder if he changes color too!" Her mental tangent would have gone on but her phone interrupted her with another reply.

"I'm glad you've accepted my offer. I agree, we can leave tonight. I will meet you outside of your apartment for Pines' carriage at eight o'clock as specified. The sun will still be up so you shouldn't have a problem spotting me. I will be dressed in traditional spring garb and have brought a large selection of clothing with me if needed. But miss, you still have not given me your name or the names of your family. I don't even know what _you_ look like! If you would be so kind and give me these details, please, this will run much more soothingly. –E.T-T."

Delighted Glinda returned home and filled her soon to be guest in on the details and called her parents to tell them she would be arriving a day early with a guest. How excited she was! Nothing could go wrong at this time in her life; or so she thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**I think this is a bit shorter, I was in a rush. Chapter 5 soon I hope...**

"Well, this is wrong." Glinda thought as she walked, bags in hand, to the pickup station for Pine's transport. Standing in front of the carriage was the one person she had jokingly thought of as her date. Hardly a foot taller than her stood a green woman in grey and red Vinkian summer robes. She had a strikingly curved knife hung from her belt that resembled a butcher's boning knife. Standing beside her, speaking softly in his native tongue, was a man several inches taller than the green skinned woman with green-tinted yellow skin. He was dressed in tan leather pants and an emerald vest that gave great contrast to his skin and the red Quadling building behind him. At his side hung a Vinkian weapon Glinda had only seen once before in a picture, she had never found out what it was. "Maybe I'm wrong." She thought aloud. "Why would he be my date? I'm sure that's not his name, this 'E. Thropp-Tigulaar' wouldn't be fully Vinkian. Thropp is a Munchkin-Quadling name." This was the one thing she remembered from her half semester course on lineage.

Behind them was a young Vinkian man, about the same height as Glinda, with a full beard and long braids in his hair. "Surely that is him!" she exclaimed to herself. Keeping her head down a bit she approached him and shook his hand. "Hello, miss Glinda." He said cheerfully. "I'm glad to meet you, thank you for accepting my offer." Glinda replied. He tossed his head back in laughter. "No, Miss I'm afraid you are mistaken. I'm Liir; I serve the Tigulaar line." Glinda stood in shock and suppressed the quiver in her voice as she spoke. "Pardon? You are not E. Thropp-Tigulaar then?" He shook his head politely. "No ma'am." She turned around to the man bearing the formidable weapon. "You then?" she asked unable to stop her voice from cracking a bit from her embarrassment. "No Miss Glinda, I hope you do acknowledge that you did not specify a gender preference in your information. I am Fiyero, my half sister Elphaba is the one you contacted. You did ask her to bring I and another as an escort to put your family on edge."

Glinda turned to the green woman who smiled sympathetically. "As I said in my responses," she said mimicking her brother's voice. "I have some skill with magic; my appearance will be simple to change. Or my brother can take my place; we are both here after all." Glinda cleared her throat and smoothed her dress a bit. "If you could change your appearance without too much bother it'd be appreciated- but if you don't mind me asking just how much do you change?" she was abhorred by her own words in asking the question but Elphaba did not seem to mind and responded immediately. "I can change my face and neck, that is all. My physique, after years of labor in South Stairs, has become more masculine than feminine." She laughed lightly. "Even my own brother did not recognize me when I returned home. With our skin you'd think it impossible to look a stranger!"

Glinda felt horribly unsure how well her plan would go over now and tossed around the idea of cancelling it altogether. But she hadn't been home in so long and surely a well built woman with a deep voice could go unnoticed, or at least politely ignored, around her family. She had already told them she'd be arriving with her boyfriend and his brother with an escort so they'd be adequately prepared for extra guests. There was no way she was going to turn back on her ill planned lie because what she got wasn't what she expected. After all who get's what they expect out of life?

They stood outside of the carriage and talked for a little while, Fiyero assured Glinda many times that nothing would go wrong. (Even if her 'boyfriend' had turned out to be a girlfriend…) When she had calmed down enough she began to excite herself about the situation. If anyone found out it'd be a whole new dimension of being the preverbal unwitted black sheep of the family. Also it was an added secret to the plan which made it all the more exciting! But now they had an incredibly long journey ahead of them. Much to Glinda's delight Elphaba and Fiyero had stopped and gotten both dinner and breakfast for them all. With new people around and further introductions to be had with much more explaining to do there would be no lack of conversations for the journey ahead.


	5. Chapter 5

The carriage was very comfortable and well lit by a small upside down candelabra. It cast more light than the size of it should have allowed but with the wax never dripping and the flame unwavering Glinda knew it was magic. The inside of the carriage was a light blue and the seats were long enough that, were Glinda alone, she would have lain across one and slept comfortably for the duration of her journey. There were small traces of gold and silver throughout the interior as decoration; forming beautiful patterns that could've entertained her for hours. But she decided that she should find out more about her new companions.

Elphaba introduced herself first as she took Glinda's hand in hers; she was sitting closest to her after all. "I was born in the Munchkinlands, I was born and raised partly in Nest hardings. My mother died giving birth to my younger brother who became a guard in South Stairs. Before him I had a younger sister; she's going to school at Shiz studying politics. My father raised the three of us among the Quadlings, he was an asshole. I've spent most of my life rebelling against him and the wizard, everyone knows how awful he is but no one will do anything. Oh well, I'll deal with him myself someday. I started a great many protests, riots, and I've broken out of South stairs twice."Glinda furrowed her brow at that. "With all of that why have I never heard of you?" she asked. Elphaba laughed. "I used a different name, Mambi, they called me-" "The wicked witch of the west!" Glinda exclaimed; she then sank back into her seat embarrassed. "Don't be embarrassed, I know what a shock it must be. But now I am just the Witch of the West. Not so wicked, thanks to my brother Fiyero. I was pretty wild then, a full Mohawk and piercings all over my face. I have a vest of tattoos, used magic to make it look like they were on my arms. Most described me as having one eye and travelling on the wind with an umbrella. What a funny notion; sounds better in the papers than it does spoken aloud. These schemes set up through that app without a name were his way of keeping me controlled. They gave me a creative outlet for aggression and whatever else was going through my head."

"I didn't make it though." Fiyero cut in. "No one's sure who did but it's proven useful to keep her out of trouble; that and modeling and bartending." Glinda looked to him expectantly and Elphaba gestured for him to introduce himself, she was done. "I studied politics at Shiz, at the end of my second year I was contacted by the head guard of South stairs. Every prisoner is given blood work, they learned that I had a half sister and they wanted to see if I could be her… probation officer. When they told me all that she had done and that she had broken out twice I thought maybe she just needed someone to listen to her. I took up their offer; the first time we met she had planned to escape again. She smashed a chair over the guard's head and bit into my arm like a Kalidah. I was terrified. But I managed to shove her off and after talking for a while she agreed to do two years of schooling under me for the duration of her sentence. She served her time Glinda, and it was very difficult to keep her calm. But enough about that, I'm from Kiamo Ko in the North Vinkus. My family runs the villiage, I am the next ruler. The diamonds in my skin are a tribute to that; Elphaba has a few on her back. We had to use magic to move her tattoos around. I do not have Elphaba's temper; I've always been the good child. I learned our traditions, went to school, now I look after my sister." He smiled broadly. "That's all I have to tell." "Well, it's not _all_ you have to tell." Elphaba said. "Explain you're toy brother. It's a children's bedtime story." Elphaba explained. "It's not a toy." Fiyero said. "and it's a legend to our people, the ones before Kiami Ko was built created this."

"It was a weapon carried only by Royal huntsman families; most referred to it as Stinging Nettle because the wooden shaft of it was made from Stinging Nettle trees that grow in the Northern regions of the Vinkus. The proper translation from our native tongue is Dragon Clipper. In creating the weapon a long staff would be carved by breaking and smoothing a branch of Stinging Nettle, a large hammer would be crafted to one end using molten rubies. The other end was given a long thin axe head, made from dragon hide, with spikes and a forked crown made from Lunicrian, a yellow metal found only in the Vinkus. The weapon had come about by the second person in Oz to slay a dragon; a Vinkian woman who had been named Lunicrian after the metal that surrounded her home. Warhammers were not uncommon in Oz at the time of her being and "man catchers" as they were called were often used for carving stone and metal. The Bardiche had been something of her grandfather's design; he had used it to split the head of a dragon that had been terrorizing their village.

After he died she had been left in charge of hunting for the village. For several years after her grandfather's death no dragon had known the murderer had died, but when they did learn many descended upon the town and frightened its inhabitants into submission. They were to gather whatever the dragons wanted, but Lunicrian had refused. Angered the dragons chased her into the mountains north, bellowing threats and spewing fire from their beaks as she ran before them. Lunicrian hid in a series of caves for many days, never daring to leave for food- at first. After a long time she decided she would run out and pull some berries from a Stinging Nettle tree she had seen grow just outside one of the many caves. Just before dawn when both the moon and sun could be seen on the horizon she darted out and in her panic pulled a full branch from the tree. The toxins of the tree left her arm useless and she cried mightily at the pain the loss caused her. And again she hid in the caverns; no one knows how she fared so long or how she could have created the weapon with a lame arm, but she did. The dragons had thought her long dead and had since returned to the village; enjoying their victory. One day during the summer she returned to the village; its inhabitants believed her a ghost and hid fearing she would curse them. They say there were a great trembling in the ground and many inhuman cries from her and pleas from the great dragons. When all became silent they exited their hiding places and found the dragons skinned to the bone by the weapon she had made. While the village had great cause for a long celebration their joy was short. Lunicrian had returned to them pregnant and ill. The child was born that night; but they say it wasn't a child. It was a dragon, a small quivering dragon that grew in seconds to a mighty beast that with a beat of its wings and a swing of its tail brought the mountain range to its knees out of sorrow for its dead mother. And as quickly as it grew it died and decomposed revealing a changling child, neither human nor beast with scales for skin, wings for ears, with pointed teeth and a serpents' tongue. The child took the weapon and retreated to the mountains, with frightened villagers willing to listen to its every word it taught them to make the weapon and when they were learned it sealed off the entrance to the caves and did not return. But it still lives in the mountains' ruins, and every year it still mourns its mother's death by casting shadows on the moon of the three great dragons and it cries for her from deep within the mountain. "Mother, mother, come raise me! Teach me to live- to walk to breathe to heal and hurt!""

"I don't understand." Glinda said. "It is a lesson to respect our mothers; they are the reason we live and they- more than anyone- show us how to be human." Fiyero said. "oh." Replied Glinda. "That's very sweet." And though she tried not to she yawned. "See what you've done Fiyero, you've bored her with your long stories." Elphaba said harshly. Glinda sat up and waved her hands. "No, No, it was very interesting to learn a piece of your people's culture! It's just that it's very late." "Well, we do tell the legend to children when they go to sleep." He said gracefully. "My sister is only teasing me Glinda." "No, I'm not." Elphaba spoke. "Yes, she is. She's a little bit ornery just so you know." Glinda smiled. She was an only child so she did not have anyone to have such banter with. She yawned again and put her head against the side of the carriage. "Come here." Elphaba said lifting her arm. "You'll have to get used to treating me as your boyfriend." She said softly. Glinda nodded her head inn agreement and snuggled into Elphaba's side. It was very comfortable, warm and soft. She listened to Elphaba and Fiyero plan Elphaba's appearance change for a while, when she woke in the morning she couldn't remember falling asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

They were just past the center of the Emerald city; the palace behind them cast blinding light through the drawn curtains of the carriage. Glinda shifted slightly and Elphaba gently shifted with her so Glinda could straighten herself. Surprisingly she was not stiff from the night's sleep in the carriage with her face buried in her 'boyfriend's' side. "Good morning Glinda." Elphaba said, mimicking her brother's voice again. "Good morning Elphaba- say you're name is quite feminine." Glinda said looking up at Elphaba. She gasped at her change in appearance. Her jaw was more squared and her nose longer, pointed, and her forehead had slight ridges making her head appear more rectangular in shape. One could clearly see the tendons in her neck and she had gained an Adams apple. With her hair pulled back tightly in a ponytail she looked almost exactly like Fiyero.

"Well," she said. "You can call me Fabala; it's not an uncommon name for men or women alike. It means that one is responsible. As for my appearance," she continued cocking her head to the side. "Fiyero and I were debating do I need facial hair and need I revert to my more wild ways to add a bit of… let's say edge to my intimidation factor?" "Um…" Glinda stared for a moment more trying to compose her thoughts. "I suppose not when we first get there, if after a few days or weeks you could have some facial hair that might be fine. But piercings would be a bit too far, as would a Mohawk. You say you have a vest of tattoos?"

Elphaba nodded. "Would you like to see them? Maybe you think some could be moved to better suit the situation?" She immediately began to unhook the front of her robes and Glinda hurriedly stopped her. "No! Why would you do that with men here? And I haven't known you very long… I'm not sure I'm ready to see you naked." Elphaba lifted her head thoughtfully. "What a strange notion. I suppose I've forgotten what the rest of Oz is like. The Vinkians are not afraid of nudity. They embrace it, it is how we are born and usually it is how we are buried. We are comfortable with anatomy; it's all natural as are all bodily functions. But I understand if you are uncomfortable; I forget that others do not celebrate holidays as we do. Most also believe Vinkians to be savage for what they believe to be indulging lusts, but we are not so crime ridden as the rest of Oz. We 'indulge lusts' in a healthy manner while the rest of Oz stifles itself in social purity." Glinda looked to Elphaba- Fabala, she corrected herself- slightly confused.

"What my sister means is the rest of Oz is sexually frustrated and looks on a naked being as strictly sexual and not just a person who is more comfortable without restricting clothing. We see nudity no differently than a clothed individual because we are used to seeing people naked; the difference makes it so we are not convinced showing skin is sexual but seductive behaviors are." Fiyero explained. "So nudity is not sexual but sexual behavior is." Glinda stated; though it was meant to be a question more than an affirmation. "Correct." Fabala said drawing Glinda's attention back to herself.

Glinda nearly screamed but covered her mouth and moved a small way away from Fabala. She had removed her robes from her shoulders so her torso was exposed. With her clothes mostly removed Glinda concluded that Fabala would not likely be caught as a female. "Well?" she asked turning so Glinda could see her back as well. "I think the diamonds should be on my arms and the creed around my neck. The rest can stretch in to cover where things were moved." Glinda stared, she was great at visualizing things. She could see buildings inside and out before she even started making models for construction. What the hell was she scared for anyway? She was a grown woman; she had seen other women naked and she'd seen men naked. Why did this scare her so much? Fabala's criminal record didn't scare her; why did her nudity do so?

"Um… I think the diamonds down your arms would be great. But you should leave the spaces on your back blank so you have the outline from the rest of your tattoos. It will be pretty to have spaces of green between the blue and purple ink." She said at last. "And the creed?" Fabala asked plainly. "Where is the creed?" Glinda asked glancing over the images. There were many quotes and maps and a portrait of a Goat wearing spectacles along with slogans used my Pro-Animal activists. "The creed is at the bottom; here." Fabala reached back and motioned around the diamonds. Along the bottom of each was a part of the creed.

"Animals should be seen and not heard" shall fall on dead ears and blind eyes; I am one who hears and heeds the cry of Animals, I am one to fall silent in their defeat, I am one who sees they live as I live, I will be blinded to their differences for there are none. I will see their misfortune and cry with them. Animals shall be seen and heard, if by none else than by me." Glinda read it carefully. Having that strung around her neck could get her killed in Gillikin. Not necessarily by her immediate family but others, and there **would** be others. "Why not wrap it around your waist and put this quote here around your neck?" She suggested. "You are a half-breed, a new breed, you are a grafted limb, you are a dangerous anomaly. Always you were drawn to the composite creatures, the broken and reassembled, for that is what you are." Glinda read aloud.

Fabala almost grinned at that. "A family friend said that about me as a child. His name was Turtle Heart. I didn't necessarily care about him but I liked how he described me before his death later that day." Glinda thought that was a strange thing to say but did not comment on it. "Liir," Fabala said. "Get out the Grimerie and help Fiyero move things around." Liir obediently stood on his seat and leaned out the window; after a few moments he was out the window completely disappearing above them. Glinda was alarmed and leaned out the window after him, thinking he had fallen out somehow. Fabala pulled her back gently. "It's okay, he'll be right back." She said in a loving tone. Glinda was still concerned but took Fabala's hand for comfort. She gripped her hand tighter when they hit a bump and Liir above cried out "Ah! Mind out!" To which the driver, a Horse, replied "It's fine, the carriage is enchanted so it won't tip unless enchanted to do so." "Great but I'm still on top of it!" Liir scolded. "Good Oz man! Why are you up there; go back inside now!'" The carriage stopped abruptly leaving Liir dangling above the opposite window. "I won't continue until you are back inside." Said the Horse. "Great." Liir said in great strain.

"It was dark last time he did this." Fabala whispered to Glinda. "Last time?" The Horse cried. "Did you do this last night as well? If anyone saw you I could be fired! That's endangerment to the customers and others!" He sidestepped nervously jostling the carriage a bit. "It's alright!" Liir called in panic. "I'm wearing clothing the same color as the bags; no one would've seen me!" "Are you sure?" he called stepping again in a sideways path. Liir's torso hit the top of the carriage knocking the wind out of him. "Positive." He grunted. The Horse calmed and waited for Liir to get into the carriage before continuing on. The four decided to keep the windows up so that the Horse did not overhear them further.

Liir was still feeling jostled some time later when Fabala's tattoos were all moved around and she was reclothed. Glinda cuddled Fabala's arm and talked about her family as they ate breakfast. It was still another day's drive so they stopped at a River that ran out of the north Vinkus into Gillikin. They all had swim clothes and after an hour or so Glinda found herself quite comfortable floathing alongside a shirtless Fabala as Liir and Fiyero climbed a tree and repeatedly jumped from its branches into the stream. Fabala had suggested that Glinda accustom herself with calling her by male pronouns. It was going to take a little time but she'd be fine by the time they got to her parents home. As they floated down steam a little ways they tried to decide on their history. So far they had a nice sized list:

They met in the library; Fabala had been working there under court ordered public service and helped Glinda find books on a regular basis.

Glinda asked Fabala on a date after he had reached a book on the top shelf for Glinda during a late night essay session; they went to a café in west Shiz.

The wicked witch of the West was a cousin of hers and Fiyero's; they didn't get along well.

They had been dating for four and a half months.

Glinda thought the tattoos attractive and Fabala had gotten more to please her- in explanation of the vest.

And if they really wanted to upset Glinda's family they both indulged in reckless behavior such as defacing public property and- doubtful they'd need this to go this far to upset them- participation in dark rooms (public sex gatherings) at the Philosopher's club or Dinjun inis- The Vinkus' Philosopher's club. As they got back to the carriage Glinda explained that they would meet her father Hugh in the morning and her mother would join them in the evening when family arrived and Fabala was to then flirt with Glinda's cousin Hithana who bore the same name as Glinda's mother. They made one last stop to gather food for the road before continuing on t the Arudenna-Upland estate.


End file.
